“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
Out of all the relationships, perhaps the most difficult to maintain is church relationships. In a church environment, people from all walks of life gather together and share their experiences, their personal struggles, their convictions and beliefs. In a church environment, at times members and visitors deal with difficult questions or situations, where relationships are heavily tested.
Many times they bring to church, their frustrations, anger and sorrow, that is caused by these situations in their private lives. Often, these emotions create an unpleasant environment in the church. Knowing all this, the obvious questions is, “how can we have healthy church relationships?”
Just as with all other relationships, church relationships have their purpose. For what reason was the church established on this earth? The earliest record of an organised church in the Bible is the apostolic church. As the followers of Christ grew in number, it was necessary to organise churches so that the gospel message could be carried everywhere, while still looking after those in the local communities.
“The church is God’s appointed agency for the salvation of men. It was organized for service, and its mission is to carry the gospel to the world. From the beginning it has been God’s plan that through His church shall be reflected to the world His fullness and His sufficiency. The members of the church, those whom He has called out of darkness into His marvelous light, are to show forth His glory. The church is the repository of the riches of the grace of Christ; and through the church will eventually be made manifest, even to “the principalities and powers in heavenly places,” the final and full display of the love of God.. Acts of the Apostles 9.1
In order for the church to fulfil its purpose, God’s given appointment, it needs to function as a body. A close and harmonious relationship should exist among all members of the church, regardless of the background or culture they come from.
“For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 12:13
The problem really starts when one person refuses to tolerate or accept the experiences, knowledge, or views of another person in the church. Many times cultural differences create tension in the church. Why does this happen? Apostle Paul further explains:
“For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. And if they were all one member, where were the body?
But now are they many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.” 1 Corinthians 12:14-25
What Apostle Paul is trying to say here, that diversity is, in fact, needed for the well-functioning of this body. Some members of this body, are the eyes, some the ears, some are the feet, etc. Each member, having their particular strengths and function, to make the community successful in carrying out it’s God-given appointment. For this to happen, Apostle Paul says that the function of each member of this body is there to prevent separation (schism) in the church.
Sadly, often church members are the cause of separation in the church. The reason for this is that one member, or a group of members, think that they are more important or have a higher function than the other. This phenomenon was present right at the very beginning of the church. The disciples were competing for the highest position around Jesus. This comes from selfishness and we all have a portion of this. But Jesus, trying to illustrate the ultimate way for this community to function well, has introduced a regular ceremony that keeps teaching us, that regardless of our functions, our cultural backgrounds, our spiritual journey, we are each other’s servants. And this is the ceremony of the ‘foot washing’.
According to the Bible, the duty of each member is to maintain the highest accord by caring for those who are weak, uplifting those who are spiritually low, and praying for the ones that have weak faith. “And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.” 1 Corinthians 12:26, 27
One of the best ways to maintain this attitude, is to have a close relationship to God. If we love God, we will also love our fellow-man. If we see that one member suffers, we will be willing to accept and understand their situation, and we will suffer in sympathy with them. If one member is rejoicing, we will also share their joy.
In summary, we are all members of a church community, in one way or another. If we understand that the very purpose for why the church was established is to help with the salvation of mankind, passing on the matchless love God has for mankind, then every act, every word, every relationship we have in the church will be motivated by this love. Then the fruits of our actions will be understanding, acceptance, tolerance, long-suffering, patience, and love. Imagine a church where these principles are actively practiced and carried out. Where every member thinks or puts first the interests of others. This is the will of God for all our church relationships.